I have been struggling for the last few days. For the first part of this competition, I realized that I would not win on votes. I comforted myself while in the 40s that at least I was a good blogger and I was losing weight.
I lost 18 pounds. Over 7% of my body weight. I thought over the weekend when the rankings hadn’t been posted. Oh this is gonna be awesome. If I can just make the top ten.
Then the rankings came out and I went into a spiral. 27th place. I worked hard. I had killed myself. Suffered through shin splints because I increased mileage too fast. I gave up Dr. Peppers. I ate better but didn’t see it that way.
I have struggled because I thought my 18 pounds would have enough.
I realized today that I cannot let my disappointment shake me. It has put me in a funk and while I am not out of that funk. I haven’t stopped. In the past, this event would have defeated me. It would have kept me from accomplishing things.
At least my mental state is stronger than I thought.