Disappointment

I have been struggling for the last few days.  For the first part of this competition, I realized that I would not win on votes.  I comforted myself while in the 40s that at least I was a good blogger and I was losing weight.

I lost 18 pounds.   Over 7% of my body weight.  I thought over the weekend when the rankings hadn’t been posted.  Oh this is gonna be awesome.  If I can just make the top ten.

Then the rankings came out and I went into a spiral.  27th place.  I worked hard.  I had killed myself.  Suffered through shin splints because I increased mileage too fast.  I gave up Dr. Peppers.  I ate better but didn’t see it that way.

I have struggled because I thought my 18 pounds would have enough.

I realized today that I cannot let my disappointment shake me.  It has put me in a funk and while I am not out of that funk.  I haven’t stopped.  In the past, this event would have defeated me.  It would have kept me from accomplishing things.

At least my mental state is stronger than I thought.

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